Bad News...

On my way home from work Thursday (March 01, 2012), I got a call from Meris saying that Papa had just passed away.  My heart sank.  I was glad that we were all able to make it over there the day before so that we could see him and tell him how much we loved him.  Once I got off the phone with Meris, I called Drew and decided that I was going to drop Bellamy off at the house and then head straight over to Bristol.  So I did just that...with the stern warning for Drew that he had better send me a lot of picture updates!

When I got to Bristol, it felt good to be around family.  In the midst of helping Debra straighten up the house, we spent some time telling stories about Papa and just enjoying being around each other.  While all this was happening, my phone was going off like crazy.  Drew took what I said to heart and was sending me pictures left and right!

The first one he sent me was of Bellamy "drinking" a Dr. Pepper.  She had been rummaging through the recycle bin, found one of Drew's cans, and then turned it up!  Thankfully there was nothing in it!

Next up was feeding time.  I love this first picture, she is looking at Drew like he is crazy for bothering her while she is trying to eat.  Then he took a picture of her cute little feet.  When I got this picture, all I wanted to do was tickle the mess out of them!  After dinner while Drew was cleaning up, he put her on some YouTube.  It is so funny how she will just sit there and watch it.  Usually when we put her in front of the computer she is trying to bang on it or pull on the cords, but when a music video is playing, she stays very focused!

When they got finished with dinner and got cleaned up, they sat down for some playtime.  Bellamy loves her Big Bird from Aunt Terah, so that is always a go-to toy from her.  And she LOVES a phone.  Real or fake...it doesn't matter!

I love this last picture because it is typical Bellamy.  She loves to eat and is my good eater.  I know she knows that I keep snacks in her bag in case Nana/Pop run out.  Drew sent me this picture with a text saying, "She discovered the vanilla wafers and animal crackers in her open bag!"  I tell ya, it's like she can sniff out food!

On my way to and from Bristol I got to think about a lot of things.  I thought about the way Papa would sing to us, real songs, or ones he had made up.  I thought about how he used to lay in his truck in the front yard or up on his property on highway 20.  I thought about how we used to go on walks with him around Bristol and how when a dog would come out to chase us, how he would scare him off.  I thought about how even when he started getting sick, he would always tell Debra that what she cooked was just "fair"...even though she's the BEST cook I know!  I laughed, I cried, and everything in between.

It got me thinking how even though you know the end is near for someone and you want them to go ahead and pass so they will be free from pain, it never makes it any easier.  It took me back to 1995 when mom died.  I remember shortly after she passed that a guy we went to school with lost his dad unexpectedly.  I remember a friend of ours saying that his circumstance was different because he didn't know his dad was going to die.  To me it didn't matter...death is still death, expected or not.  It's not any easier just because you know it's coming and can somewhat "prepare" for it, when it finally happens, it's still kind of unexpected, if you know what I mean. 

Thankfully I have a sound knowledge of what happens after death.  I know that our bodies were not meant to last forever, so death is expected.  I know that after we die we enter into the spirit world where we may be reunited with our loved ones who have passed on before us.  I know that once the Savior returns there will be a Resurrection where our bodies and spirits will be reunited, never to be separated again.  I know that through our Savior, and ordinances we have partaken of on this earth, that we are sealed together in eternal family organizations, if we are faithful in keeping those covenants we made during this life.  I'm so thankful for this knowledge and my testimony of the restored gospel.  When trials come in to my life, knowing all this helps me to not only deal with the test that come, but it also helps me to strengthen my testimony and grow closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

So for now I'll rely on the memories I have of Papa.  And rather then saying goodbye, I'll say, until we meet again on the other side.  We love you Papa.